after Kate Bingham
I learnt that words don’t mean anything,
That your hands do all the talking.
I learnt that you don’t always have to tell the truth
And I learnt that there’s always a loophole
To weasel your way through.
I learnt how to take offence at an inanimate object
And how to play top trumps.
I learnt how to get away with not firing your friend,
How to talk about something
While saying nothing,
And I learnt how to confuse a lot of people
With an eighteenth-century sewing expression.